A single flower growing through a cracked pavement

When Family Doesn’t Make Sense: Finding Purpose in the Pain

This post is part of the Perfectly Placed Blog Series. Next: Perfectly Placed in ’an Imperfect Family →

We all hope our families will be safe places of love, acceptance, and support.

But for many of us, family has been both a blessing and a source of deep confusion—or even heartache. The messy dynamics, unresolved conflicts, or lingering feelings of rejection can leave us asking: Why was I placed here?

In Perfectly Placed, I share my own journey of wrestling with this very question. It wasn’t until I began to view my family through God’s lens that things began to shift.

God doesn’t place us in our families by mistake. Even when brokenness is present, there is a divine purpose at work—one that shapes us, builds resilience, and draws us closer to Him.

Purpose in the Midst of Pain

When Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery, he could have chosen bitterness. Instead, he trusted God’s bigger picture. His pain became the pathway to saving an entire nation (Genesis 50:20).

Your family story may feel complicated, but God can use every part of it—both the moments that made you smile and the ones that made you weep—to shape you into the person He created you to be.

Finding God’s Hand in Your Story

If your family relationships leave you feeling frustrated, unseen, or misunderstood, here are a few reminders:

  • God sees the whole picture. What feels unfair now may be part of a bigger plan for your growth and calling.

  • Your worth is not defined by family approval. Your identity is rooted in God’s love.

  • Pain can be redeemed. God has a way of taking what was meant to harm you and turning it into something good.

Related Read: Healing from Family Wounds: God’s Path to Wholeness and Perfectly Placed in Imperfect Families.

Your Family Story Can Have Purpose

You may not have chosen your circumstances, but God can use them to strengthen you, deepen your faith, and prepare you for the purpose He has set before you.

 It's Time to Reflect: Where have you seen God working behind the scenes in your family story?

 Go Deeper — Download your free guide Five Steps to Finding Purpose in Your Family to start seeing your experiences through God’s eyes.

Get your copy of Perfectly Placed and discover how even the most confusing chapters of your family story can lead to a beautiful ending.


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